How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
