The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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