I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A+ Viking dick
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
