girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
