dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
