woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Randomize
