haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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