i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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