You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
