Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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