Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
