I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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