i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
