I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
