I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
