That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
