plz talk dirty to me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
