I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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