I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
