found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize