there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
