I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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