I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
