don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
