dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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