You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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