they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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