BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
