don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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