it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
