it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
