i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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