i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
