im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
