she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
