she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
