I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
