no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
