Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize