im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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