the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
