I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
