MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just blew my weed a kiss
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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