dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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