sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
