The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
