How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
