Please, let me fuck your mom
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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