oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
