I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
