Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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