Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
