I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
