you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize