no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
