Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my being single is dangerous.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
