Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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