Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
